If Only...

As an indie author who is part owner of an independent bookstore, I realized something today. The "IF ONLY" list is an endless one!

I'm curious how many others have this endless list of "if only" in the back of their minds. I know that I tell myself if only at least a dozen times a day, if not more. If only I could concentrate on one book at a time is my biggest if only problem, right now. Every time I get an idea, I have to run right over to my laptop and write the first couple of chapters. Then I have a hard time deciding which one to work on until it's done. Which usually means I jump back and forth until one IS done.

Of course, there's the if only I could be more organized with my time instead of getting distracted with stories on the internet when I go in search of things I need to know for whichever book I'm working on. I love having the information at the click of my fingers, but if I were doing research the old way in books at the library...I wouldn't sail off into unknown waters or go down dark rabbit holes. At least when I have historical information in one of my books, it is accurate...right?

Then, there's that clairvoyant side of me that gets interrupted by wandering souls. If only they would pick their time a little more in line with my schedule. But alas, there is no sense of time in the spirit world. Speaking of which, this week's project is working on I'm Not Crazy....I'm Clairvoyant...because the wandering souls pushed me to work on it. So, there's that.

If only I didn't have to stop to sleep or eat and I might accomplish more writing. Who are we kidding? I don't just stop to eat or sleep...I turn it into a time to fall through the distracting squirrel of social media. I've been known to stay up for 24 hours straight to finish up a story for an anthology because I procrastinated too long on getting it done.

Procrastination. If only I wasn't a huge procrastinator. Then I would be using my time more effectively. My excuse is that I work better under pressure and what more pressure could come from having a deadline that is less than 24 hours away and I've only written 2,000 words of a 10,000-word short story.

Housework doesn't do itself. Neither does laundry. If only I had a maid or a housekeeper to do those menial tasks for me. If only I could AFFORD to have one. Which brings me to the biggest if only of them all...IF ONLY I COULD SELL ENOUGH BOOKS TO MAKE THE NYT or USA TODAY BEST SELLER LIST. Then I could afford to hire a housekeeper, a cook and have a place in the middle of nowhere...maybe in the Highlands of Scotland or a village in Ireland or a mountain cabin in Montana I could live my days out sitting at my laptop writing stories for the rest of my days.

Sigh...if only...

Have a wonderful weekend...I have a book...or books to write!